12/1/23 Song: Blind - Korn

HEY!!! I've been working a bunch since May and that's really all I've had going on since I got my second job.

I updated the homepage to look cool. I'm doing more stuff to other pages, I intend to update the gallery page design and the links page.

I'm getting ready to Christmas Shop for people.

Been playing Minecraft and Half-Life when I'm not doing anything. My cousin has got me into playing Overwatch 2 with him and it's probably the most fun I've had in a game in a minute.

Finally didn't stop playing a world in minecraft after diamonds; Gonna try to go through the whole game again.

Thinking about going into culinary arts cause I keep getting back into it. Off and on for like most of my life it's been the dream and the worst idea ever but right now it sounds like it could be a possible future for me. We'll see what I do as I go forward looking into it (again)

A lot of my stuff from May wasn't properly backed up and I had file corruption due to the FIVE POWER OUTAGES earlier this year. They each lasted like a week. I lost some intended shrine pages like the Zomboid one and decided the Zomboid one isn't one I want anymore anyways.

I feel like there was one more thing but I also just think it's cause I lost so much random stuff that it's gone or starting things from scratch.

Either way I'm back at it for now. Expect something again soon probably the links page first if anything and a reworked projects page and maybe a retooling of it? Not sure what that will be yet.

Oh EDF 6 is expected to drop next year in the spring, hope it's in time for my birthday or something. Mario Wonder was okay, I like Yoshi being playable, he's like my favorite Mario character that isn't Luigi.

I tried gardening this year and it was really cool. I tried pottery and made a little bowl, I'm using it for jewlery and small things that crowd my dresser. The garden was just flowers to see if I could remember to keep up with it before I got something to make my own tea next year!

Been thinking about doing a cookbook kind of page of foods I like to eat and how to make them, unsure of what to start with it will probably spontaneously appear here later on. Seeing the page on Bomby's site about a similar idea inspires me to really see what I can do too.

Also partially inspired by Charlatan Wonder on youtube who halfway through some of his game reviews will just have a random recipie paid for and I believe partially suggested by by his patrons.

2/12/23 Song: Sussudio - Phil Collins

An unceremonious return, nothing has heavily changed enough for me to warrant posting however not posting for too long is a reason on it's own.

I have been playing Project Zomboid, I was gifted it; I am too patient with my money so I wouldn't of seen this game for a long time otherwise. It is one of my new favorite sandbox games. I've tested every detriment in the game to find out which ones I can play around to get benefits. I knew two things about the game but I'll tell you two different ones, the power will go out and the water will go out. I had used every bucket and large pot on the block to prepare for that and got used to walking around in the wilderness at night to prepare for no power. That didn't help as much as "the water table" plan considering how much darker interiors can be with no lights.

I'm also trying to find all the items I think look cool, like the lunchbox item with ninja turtles on it and the toys. The lunchbox serves a storage purpose badly but most of the things I want to have are uselss in the survival setting but in my head are nice to have for forgetting the world fell apart, had it been me for real I'd want it so my player character deserves it.

I'm going to put lame tactics, strategies, and things I thought of on a page. Lame in that they are simple to execute or cheesy but not actually lame. They might save you if you don't know about them, it could save you hours of progress and I think that's worth it. It's like a light-hardcore game, deaths are permanent if you aren't altering the game.

I have applied to two places, none have taken me yet; I continue to try again. I thought about reaching out to many friends to do things or just talk but at the same time, I continue to shut myself off. Half the time I justify it through being to late at night, other times I justify it through not being able to give them my full focus if I was to start talking with them. I feel as though I need a reason for what I fully think is no reason at all. Although it could be because a reason helps me get through the anxiousness and awkwardness of just appearing as I tend to want to do. I dread that more than being lonely I suppose. Social interactions I cannot prepare for.

I finished the color changer script and got it to work with the iframe through some heavy reliance on tables. It was gross and I am not going to upload it although I'm happy to say I made it I'm not happy with how I got it to work. Also, the color pallate changing means I'd need to alter every page and consider every color in the changer. I'm alright, just to complicated even after I'm done.

I impulsively made a new layout in response and then decided they both weren't directions I'd like to go. The color pallaete would also have changed. One of them was over-simplified from all angles and then I used that one purely to inspire an adaptive layout but I find it too annoying without using bootstrap or doing something more complicated. Of course it borrows some from this theme so I'd need to fully rework everything again to fit adaptive, a lot less frames. I'm curious if anybody views me on a screen that doesn't display this properly or mobile. This is designed around the smallest screens I own and the only reason I view my own site on mobile is the anime watchlist so as long as I can see that text I personally could care less how it's formatted for mobile or not unless a bunch of people viewed on mobile and would tell me so. How much of the neocities community is on mobile? Seems like four sites I can think of did it intentionally. More than when I started doing this.

I've gone through the entire catalog of games I could own and picked solely the ones I'd like to look for, the Playstation 2 only has 12 games left for me 13 if I badly want the first EDF with less features, the Gamecube if I recall only has two games and the Playstation only has Armored Core. Although I wait till the end of time to get the lowest price highest quality, 12 games for me is a long time to wait for the opportunity I like.

Other than that it's late again so I am going to roll more stuff out in the morning or Tuesday morning at the latest. That color changer off and on took up way to much of my focus for too long.

11/5/22 Song: Disdrometer - Chris Christodoulou

I been thinking about posting for awhile.

I went to an arcade with my brother. Got to play Time Crisis 4, Guilty Gear XX, Dance Dance Revolution A20, Pump It Up, DANCE aROUND (First I heard of this one, it's like a camera based one. Miku is in it.) and this co-op rhythm game that felt like I was on a Hockey Table; The only artists I remember are Moe Shop and one song by Ryu. I won some Card Captor plushies of Cerberus and Spinel in a crane machine and played MVC. Cool arcade. They had a figure of Sakura and one of Sailor Moon in a crane where you need to move it off of poles but I didn't wanna try too many times for either of them.

I had fun. I have a few pages I'm working on but I've either been busy or doing IRL stuff.

I've started going to the gym again after so long, still very spontaneous but I've been twice already.

I have a friend I want to talk about, I might tomorrow it's late.

10/6/22 Song: D.A.N.C.E. - Justice

Made some really fluffy pancakes yesterday, they were the size of the pan and about half an inch vertically. Potential new job is found I just have to get in there. The homepage now displays the projects/things I'm doing. Unsure if I'll just use it for site related projects but we'll see as it becomes more clear to me. An archive for that or a long scroll might be weird, haven't thought it to it's completion.

Pancake stuff

I want to learn how to do cool shapes and designs with the pancakes. I thought of doing it where I use a cookiecutter and my tongs to remove them after it takes shape but I have no clue how people do the intricate designs with it like the yoshi or kirby pancake...

The yoshi pancake guy said they use cocoa powder for outlining so now I can try it next time. I wanna make stuff that looks like the Kirby Cafe. If I change my mind on that I might learn crepes next which would be ultimate.

If it's anything cool or wacky I'll post how I did it here. Should be exciting!

9/15/22 Song: D.A.N.C.E. - Justice

The Hunt Begins.

One less serious and one that's very important.

The highly prophesized JOB 2 where I use my funky new papers to do something cooler. This can either be a higher paying job or the next step in my education to get another job. Undecided, few ideas but my trajectory while open is undecided.

The other hunt is for a highly specific piece that I can probably just order although the hunt for such a piece in the wild would bring me intense joy.

The PlayStation 2 iLink Cable

It's so you can LAN Party on the PS2. I own a few games that support it and it just would be so cool to see a new menu to me in a game so old. The online-adjacent things that cannot be accessed to which I missed from being too young. It would be surreal to see it now after all this time. I like finding the things in person but I might just order it after a few months. Christmas it is?

I was checking the box and on the back of ATV Offroad Fury 2, it name drops the iLink and I was like I'm gonna assume that's their LAN equivilent. Looked into it and sure enough it is. Looking at my PS2 it's only on the fat models and not the slim ones. Wonder if there's another way to do it. I know that some games support HD too but not enough of the games I care about to do it with.

UPDATE: It's just firewire. I seen an image and double checked GameFAQs about it. I might have one already, says I can get a hub and do up to eight of the damn things. Although ATV doesn't support it and I could just do normal LAN anyways, cool if I already have firewire somewhere, assuming still. If I don't I know for a fact I can just LAN party normally seemed way more interesting before I really put thought into it, I also know where to just get firewire cables near me... The hunt is non-existant and it will be the fastest I got exactly what I was looking for. Still cool but I digress.

In my focus on my task I've neglected getting back to people because if I was going to be stuck doing this for so long I would be miserable and I don't want to be a negative person to others because of it. Now that I am past that I am as I was planning, I am going to start trying to talk to people again! I've already made a new friend but I need to get back to those I have said nothing to in my tunnel-visioned focus.

I keep trying to make a redesign, I've seen a few posts saying "make a moblie design" on Neocities; Not to me specifically but to whoever sees it. I have made a few although much like my shrine pages I feel they aren't up to how I'd like to present it. I might make just a bare bones mobile design and have a splash page but those have never been my style. They feel redundant. I just really like looking at this one still. Definetly the next version whenever that happens will account for a lot more but I am just not ready to put too much effort back yet. I have no reason to forget, Javascript is next on my choping block and I have toyed around with a style changer. I learned about it backwards and it will probably make it take longer to figure out Javascript as a whole and a lot more trial and error. I was also given a way to use Adobe Animate, so I could make some HTML5 stuff with high presentation. I'm really on the fence as to which I will focus on using. Animate I believe some knowledge of javascript will make animate make more sense so this might just be learn javascript either way but the ammount I need to understand well enough fluctuates.

Graphic Design stuff, I'd love to dabble in it professionally and I've seen a few courses in my area. I might just pick up a bunch of side jobs and continue to do what I do for now until I find something that can support me enough to take a bigger step. A lot of my friends just got apartments but I really want to just take it really slow until I know what's best for me so I don't get stuck in anything lame and so I can see the whole picture of what's required.

I felt like I actually had time to handle everything today, I was so prepared and in a situation that normally would've made me shutdown we already had it handled and we worked as a team really well. Lot of cool stuff this week, maybe I just feel that much better to have the tests gone!

I still need to go somewhere else and the fact that my team would've irked me a few months ago they might actually be in a position where I feel I'm not screwing anything over by leaving. They usually try guilt tripping people who leave. I've seen it all before for other people and it won't work on me either, especially if everyone else is equipped to handle this. I will have made myself replaceable and their argument if any will be unfounded and I will be bettering everyone else by leaving it. I'll feel accomplished.

9/15/22 Song: D.A.N.C.E. - Justice


I can move on from this finally. I can even tell them it's done. I didn't do this for someone else, I did it for me.

It's over. I planned on failing this time, mentally anyways and I did it. The time I expected nothing and it was handed to me. Beautiful.

What do I even do now :P

It's all I've been thinking about, it's kept me crying and feeling stuck. I literally jumped dude you don't even know.

I might even take a break! I doubt it but it's so cool. I have less to worry about and more to think about. Taking a break now would mean it's as if I learned nothing but sleep looks so good right now. I might be too excited to sleep...

I was so scared. It's over!!!! I might repeat myself a few times but I just feel happiness about it, I thought I'd be doing this for another year at worst. There is one bit that I wish was different but it's out of my hands! I fixed it, I did it my way. It's such a dramatic building. It's got a huge spiral staircase and you are right in the center of the building and I ran up those stairs and rushed into that test room. I did the test and then looked it over twice in the time it took me to do around 75% percent of the test the first time. I was more prepared but I forgot I could use a calculator for some of it and most of my stuff without the calculator ~was right.

Thank-you for reading my happy post! It's been so long since it was about something real!

I wonder if this thing is legit or if it's gonna be a laminated paper that says I did it. Regardless send me the mail PLEASE! We have to fill out a thing for it. Seriously DO NOT spoil it if you know already (also please)

I wish a few people were still around to know I could actually do this. ~BUT IT'S DONE!!

9/14/22 Song: D.A.N.C.E. - Justice

Tired and exhausted I must be slightly ahead of schedule, tomorrow I wake up early; My first chance to try again, so I am. I need to pass, all I been thinking about... I hope for tomorrow.

Winter Nintendo Direct happened. Don't know if the Nintendo Online has gotten any better but those N64 games with online would be nice. Especially Wave Race! New Zelda sounds cool but I want to see it more in-depth. Kirby Remaster kept the Dedede Redesign, It's nice but feels weird after knowing how he looked in the original. It gives off angry orb energy which ohhh man makes him cute and menacing when I think about it like that! wfdaiukghedadw

That's it. Clearly the design angle. Also online Mario Party 3 would be cool if there was matchmaking of some sort. So I can play with people that are just also playing mario party 3 instead of people I ask to play mario party 3 at like two in the morning. Wave Race would also be wild, but I need people that also want to play at terrible hours of the day (midnight). New pacman world thing, curious to see if they continue foreward again... Zelda Tears of the Kingdom hopefully can show some rebuilt Hyrule, if it even happened. No Metroid news for prime 4.

New Starwars stuff sounds interesting but I've yet to see if it actually is.

I have to be up by like seven. I have a few new pages but I can't settle on any designs. They feel incomplete.

9/8/22 Song: Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

Just started doing vectors again. I haven't touched the stuff in more than a year but I feel like I needed a break cause I think what I made looks great even if it's unfinished. I like how my style looks in it. I actually tried. Feels stylish, sharp and pleasing to use. I might make more with it in the future.

I've been playing the new Jojo game off and on. Really like Polnareff but everyone feels unique. My other favorites are Bucciarati and Jotaro. I want to figure out more of them.

9/2/22 Song: Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison


8/23/22 Song: Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

Still preparing, I thought I'd be done this month. Either way, I'm gonna schedule the test like three times while I continue to use the study guide and work with the tutor. Because it was only one point, eventually I'm bound to pass through this way. I have money saved to do this specifically. I'm impatient and no longer afraid.

The Castlevania show is back in October, other than that no other shows I'm watching. Currently isolating myself from a bunch of things, I'm finally ready to come back. Done some fanart of stuff but it's nothing I feel like sharing, unfinished stuff.

The only thing I'm playing is classic Morrowind. Started for the first time and made a Khajiit Witchhunter. The Khajiit are my favorite dudes to hear talk in this series. Usually in generic fantasy or sci-fi it's lizard people but they just can't compete with the giant cat merchants in this game. Also they fit my prefered playstyle while just being neat and funky. I'm trying to just fill out the map and explore while trading, such is my favorite activity in any game. I still don't feel like playing a whole lot of anything but I'm doing this occasionally.

I had some negative days, nothing got done and now it is the end of August. I don't feel bad about it but I was really out of it for awhile, it was going to happen. Felt extremely unmotivated and like nothing was helping me feel better. Unsure what got me out of this mood except the new approach to the test.

I might write some more, I'm back though.

7/15/22 Song: Cowboys From Hell - Pantara


I feel content.

I got stuff to start making my own tea.

My newest pants, I've worn them for a few days and they have the right amount of everything. These may be my new go to pants. Pockets are super specific. Fits literally everything I could want to have on me like sunglassess too. I like to have certain things seperated and all that you know. I got my brother a weighted blanket, he used mine and really liked it so now we both have one. We're no longer going to the comic-con. That would have been tomorrow. Wouldn't be worth the drive with the size of the location. I however still have the day off for it. We'll see what I do with that.

We've just finished Trigun, stopped YuYu and are now watching Soul Eater. It's pretty good. We're picking shows that we either can't finish, really like or would never watch. Only four episodes in and I really like Soul Eater, it's one of his favorites. Strong aesthetics and it bleeds with when it was made. I actually guessed it correctly.

One more thing but I don't know what it was. Regardless that's all I really got to say about anything.

7/7/22 Song: Cowboys From Hell - Pantara

I feel like I said the wrong choice but I'm afraid of the right choice even more. There was a big dramatic spiel explaining it but I said it in like a few words instead. It's just how I work through things. I tend to get dramatic about it and get over it, bear with me.

I went thrifting today and found some new pants I really like. I really like having specific pockets for specific things.

Here's a breakdown of things I like to have on me;

  • Gloves
  • Burn Cream
  • Headphones
  • Sharpies

  • I usually fill the pockets down my right leg and have the pair of gloves in my left pocket. I'm not including my wallet and phone or anything like that. The marker gets it's own little pocket now and I really like that for whatever reason. So I only have two pockets with nothing in it. Those are usually saved for snacks, super specific things I know we won't have from the day before, or holding onto things for other people so it's not mixed in with my other stuff. Depends on the day.

    Getting burnt is annoying. I'm thinking about taking in my own steel wools so we don't need to wait on each other to clean up.

    I love my cargo pants. I like being able to have everything I need for specific tasks just on my person, and snacks :P

    I also like this material, I haven't worn jeans in like twelve years. I've tried a bunch and these new ones are almost tied with my current favorite.

    Some of them are made for a range of sizes and you adjust them because they're made to be supplied in bulk. Kids pants do that for growing kids or whatever. I use it instead of a belt :P

    I don't like sweatpants for their look, lame pockets and material. Some of these have elastic and the normal belt area. I like that.

    Thanks for reading about pants from my perspective :P

    I've cleaned today, gonna start condensing some containers of things I barely open. Get it down the the essentials and top wants.

    I'm making a costume, I'm finally doing the Richter costume idea. We'll see how it goes. Gonna do a ton of concept art and figure it out. Then I'm gonna post it if I finish it soon.

    I might have friends going. I don't know yet.

    The Dungeons and Dragons campaign was cancelled. Grognar will be missed. He was an Orc Monk. I might try to salvage the backstory for a future character so I won't share it :)

    7/3/22 Album: ラストチャンス - Macroblank

    TRIGUN is getting a new anime soon. Just announced today. Coincidentally I started watching it like a week ago. I really like the original so far.

    Yu Yu Hakusho isn't vibing with me as much as when I started. Tournament Arcs usually kill my want to continue a show. Atleast, ones like this. I do like the beggining but I might just skip the rest of the arc if I feel like watching it. I already got the character moments but I am falling asleep here.


    The pacing is what kills me. Even though it is farily fine tired me cannot bear.

    6/30/22 Song: Enid - Barenaked Ladies

    That took a long time. But here I am! Happy with this, blue mode was a placeholder till I got past my creative block.

    Also it's still blue. Called Spirals. Inspiration I think is clear and heavy although it's got my own stuff going on.

    I got news on an old friend and they have entirely changed in the past three years. It's a given but the difference is so insane to me compared to who they were.

    I just can't believe it. I know for myself it ultimately changes nothing but it just bugs me in a special way because of who they were to me at the time I knew them.

    Regardless it has taken enough headspace for the past few days that I wanted to make a note of it.

    This new theme inspires me to do stuff. I've held on to it for so long, finished it crazy quick. Check out this div thing!

    It's red, isn't that dope as hell?

    It's because it's mostly transparent. I always design in the color blue. Half the time I shift it after that but it feels as though you are getting the design in it's rawest form today! (atleast from my perspective of it)

    Really happy with it.

    I finished the pages for the fun stuff and the gallery but I am too lazy to change a bunch of lines around right now...

    Not much else going on, I'm playing dungeons and dragons again after like three years maybe four. Page planned on him, my boy, my precious bastard Grognar!

    I've been getting angry with a few people and I am resisting the urge to say something to them.

    I feel as though I've felt the full spectrum of my emotions this week.

    I have a version that changes the header image to match the shrine page you're currently on but I need to finish the shrine headers. The part where the blue dude is in the spirals will be starwars stuff or castlevania, kirby even. Getting their own color schemes that match. That's why the div thing is semi-transparent. However I am once again really tired. Yet the concept itself is so cool that I will remember to keep going at it till it is done.

    I met with the tutor, a ton of my problem is trying to do things in my head when I don't have to and I could easily spot my mistakes if it's on paper. I try to rush and cut corners with even math and it doesn't work that way. What once was told to me thousands of times, "there's no reward for doing it in your head!"

    More people have left my job and my schedule that I got to be correct is going to get thrown again. I find it annoying because I just got it how I wanted it again. They need to sort it out without me being the solution.

    I have a new manager who is very condecending to everybody, he makes me want to rush and get my things done so I don't have to see him anymore. Just another reason I suppose.

    Pac-Man world is getting a remaster which could mean Pac-Man World 4; I screamed, hopefully I can get it or atleast a world 2 remaster for that soundtrack.

    I now have every version of DDR for the PS2. My collection is getting closer and closer to complete!

    I am proejcted to be finished by August for my major GED goal.

    I'm done naming days and am putting the song of the day there.

    There's something else I wanted to say but I got pulled away from my update ramble by stuff.

    Farmer and Farmer Farmer 6-8-2022

    We got Stardew Valley instead, I like fishing the most. We've been playing co-op. I used to play Harvest Moon, feels similar although I don't remember every detail of Harvest Moon anymore it's been like ten years.

    The fishing farm house also is my favorite for the starting furniture! However for this first run we're doing the mining farm. My current NPC of choice is Sebastian. I'm trying to do a blind playthrough of the game somehow I've avoided it besides Abigail eating rocks. My lil dude I made him link but with my hair, I also forgot Link doesn't wear pants so I guess it's me with Link's shirt and brown pants.

    I've once again decided it's time to clean out everything. Cords for things you no longer own tend to just build up, I have condensed it to a large ziplock a few months ago and keep it from leaving that bag. I am once again considering a non-rolling chair for my desk, preferably one that is comfy but not enough to sleep in...

    My computer monitor from the thrift store is returning to complete the cycle for someone else :P

    This change still feels cool but mobile doesn't like it due to something I knew about but didn't care to prevent with the font sizes.

    Few shrines still are getting reworked, the gallery is going to see a change if I can find a way that makes me happier.

    Argh! 6-3-2022

    My brother and I are looking for some games that would have fun multiplayer. Right now we're thinking Sea of Thieves cause we want pirate shenanigans and all that entails. Maybe sometime this week if we actually have good enough specs. The last game we were playing was Risk of Rain 2. He is still looking for another DnD campaign that will line up with our schedules. The days appear to be lining up.

    We started watching YuYu Hakusho every other night and he just started Cardcaptor Sakura. I think that's everything we're both doing.

    Still practicing, I got a tutor and the month of July the test place is closed so I got two months. I only practiced the week before the first time and got right under the score by one.

    I'm planning a lot with my brother coming up when I get this over with in what looks like August. We both have some problems that if we work together, well we won't have any big problems after that :D

    A dream, some people aren't there anymore but as a team we can probably pull some crazy stuff off. The ability to see the end is inspiring and it's really cool to say, right?

    We have conventions coming up if I feel comfortable being that close to people again.

    I'm gonna see if my brother is comfortable with me refering to him in this space, cause if I call him my brother five times in a sentence it's just weird for me. I forget if I already asked.

    Blue Mode 6-2-2022

    New layout is almost done, gonna go live with all this soon. The blog is similar to it was during the kirby layout.

    The color of focus is now blue. I've been telling myself not to use blue, even though I wanted to since that same layout in 2021 So I used the literal opposite color for awhile :P

    I got this new blue guy on a few pages, he's supposed to be a placeholder guy but I love him. We'll see if he "evolves" or something later.

    This current design is one I am messing with while I recover from the last one. Although I quite like it's general vibe more than clouds. Clouds was cool but it was also bad for two reasons I could have prevented. Scale (in the literal sense) and positioning. Also if I don't use blue now I was gonna scream.